Why do we have relationships ? What is the goal of having a relationship with anyone ? What do you look for in a relationship? These are some of the questions I will look into today and ponder on. We are living in a day and age when long term relationships can be difficult to maintain . We go from friendship to friendship , from romantic relationship to romantic relationships and we are still dissatisfied , empty and frustrated. Could it be that we for the most part have a wrong understanding of what relationship is about? Could it that our understanding of what friendship is has been corrupted?
When ask what is friendship about ? The majority of people will say friendship is about having someone who cares for you , who help you in time of needs, some one who loves you for who you are, who can be relied on etc.. While the responses are good and true , they often time reveal a selfish attitude and it is one of the reasons why many people have trouble making or keeping friends. So basically in the minds of many people a friendship is having someone you can get something from and not necessarily someone you can 'add value" to. When relationship is solely what I can get from you, we reduce the other person to an object for our own satisfaction and we set ourselves up for failures. Romantic relationships are failing because of such approach.
Many people when looking for a romantic partner , someone to marry are only concerned with the value that person can add to their lives. They ask themselves, how will this person help me financially, emotionally , spiritually etc..? Rarely do people ask themselves how can I add value to the life of this individual. So people go into relationship looking for someone who will satisfy them and not necessarily looking to satisfy the person. Many say I need someone who will love me for who I am and not I need to love someone for who they are. As a result relationship are difficult to maintain and people just end up using each other and when the time come when feel like you are not valuable for them, they just cast you off, throw you away like a piece of trash and move on to the next interesting person, target.
We see that all over the place, in all types of human relationship. People value you for what you can give them but the moment you can no longer provide what they need, they throw you away like a used toy. We see it in sports, an athlete has done great things for a team, but the moment he is injured or is not performing at the level expected he is benched or sold to another team. We see in the work place, an employee can be performing at top levels for a long period of time but the moment he is not performing at the same level, his job is threatening. We see in relationships of all types, you can do all sorts of things and sacrifice for someone, but the moment you are relationship to fulfill their needs anymore for whatever reason, many are quick to reject you as a friend. You are only good for what you can provide me , the moment you stop providing me is the moment you stop being useful to me is the attitude of many . Slavery had a similar attitude, the slave is here to serve the master and if the slave is unable to serve , anything can happen , he can be sold to another master etc.. In many modern relationships people treat people like sex ojects, to be used and discarder like trash and these things are reulthing in many people feeling worthless about themselves. We make people feel worthless when our main goal is to get from them and not to give.
Friends, this is not the purpose of relationships and this is one of the true cause of our problems in relationships of all types. We try to get from people , we seek value from others but are not seeking to give, to add value to their lives. The purpose of relationships is to add value to the lives of others, to be a blessing to them. Think about the beginning of relationship . The Bible says God is love and it describe love in John 3:16 as " God so love the world that He gave His only Begotten Son." Love is about giving, relationship is about giving. God created the human race and all other beings not because He needed anything but because He wanted to share His great love with created beings. God has no needs, there is nothing that can be added to His life , but God loves to give and to bless others, to see others happy is His great joy . So relationship is first and foremost about giving to others. How can I make the life of this person better, how can I add value to his or her life ? Can you imagine a friendship in which both person are actively seeking to make the lives of each other better? Can you imagine a romantic relationship in which is person is seeking to be the best husband for his wife and the wife seeking to be the best wife for her husband ? Can you imagine a work place in which the employees is looking for the best of the business and the business is looking out for the best of the employees? Can you imagine a country in which the government is looking out for the best of its citizens and the citizens are looking out for the best of the citizens ? Can you imagine a world in which each person is focus on making the life of the next person better each and every single day ? This sound like heaven and like my friend said in such a world " one would be filled with love." I agreed, in such a world one would be overflown with love and will be sharing love all over the place. Friends, this is what relationships are about , seeking to love another person and be a blessing to them .
This is part one, I will follow up with another article entitled, the purpose of relationship : investing in others.
Part 2 https://thinkabouti.blogspot.com/2023/06/part-2-purpose-of-relationship-is-to.html
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