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Humility: key to a happy relationship

 God hates pride. It was pride that caused Lucifer to rebelled in heaven. It is pride that causes so many problems in our relationships. "Pride is a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in conduct." Proverbs 8:13, "To fear the Lord is to hate evil: I hate pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. Pride, wherever it is found causes strife, division and chaos.  The very nature of human conflict  is rooted in elements of pride. The problem is we all have a pride problem and this the reason we all have conflicts in relationships

Pride is all about self centeredness. You only think about what is good for yourself, even at the expense of God and others. Another way pride display itself is through low self esteem. Notice it is low "self esteem." Again it is a preoccupation with the self. Its all about me. The Devil doesn't fall in that category but many of us do. This is where you find the suicidal person, the sexually promiscuous and serial dater etc.. But even that person is dealing with pride because they will not hear the Word of the Lord concerning His love for them and how much they are valued in His sight. It can be very difficult to deal with such a person. 

We all fall into one of the two sides of pride. We either have high self esteem or low self esteem. We all are responsible for life being so miserable, for relationships being so hard. So how do we change that? How do we make our relationship happy? The first step to a happy relationship is fix your relationship with God.  We fix our relationship God in one way only, through humility. The Bible says, "God resist the proud but give grace to the humble. " James 4:6. God cannot deal with a proud person, because a proud person will not admit that their ways are wrong and that they need the Lord to transform them. If we humble ourselves before the Lord and say Lord I am a sinner, I have wronged you and my way is not right .God will hear 

After we humble ourselves before the Lord then we ask Him for a humble spirit. A spirit that is not self centered but seek to please God first and the welfare of others. Humility makes our relationships beautiful. When we are humble we no longer seek to protect self at the expense of others, but we will seek to lift others up even at the expense of self. When God humble us, conflict in our relationships will diminish. If your spouse is upset at you, you will not raise your voice in return but will give a soft answer. For the scriptures says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh Word stirs anger. Proverbs 15:1. 


Pride is at the heart of bullying and entitlement. Pride is displayed in three different ways: self- reliance, self centeredness and self condemnation. Someone who has high self esteem is a proud person. Its hard to deal with such a person. They may think they are above reproach. No one can correct them, they think they know better than everyone, even God Himself and hence the reason why they keep doing things God condemn. Relationship with such a person becomes difficult. The Devil fell in the first category, he believed he knew better than God and as a result led himself into destruction. A proud person is self reliant, they believe they don't need anybody, they can handle life themselves and hence a proud person sees no need to bring all their burdens to the Lord. 

After we humble ourselves before the Lord then we ask Him for a humble spirit. A spirit that is not self centered but seek to please God first and the welfare of others. Humility makes our relationships beautiful. When we are humble we no longer seek to protect self at the expense of others, but we will seek to lift others up even at the expense of self. When God humble us, conflicts in our relationships will diminish. If your spouse is upset at you, you will not raise your voice in return but will give a soft answer. For the scriptures says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh Word stirs anger. Proverbs 15:1.

When humility is in our hearts, we will no more seek to be right but seek to be righteous. Being righteous means taking the blame even when you are right. Jesus did that for us. While we were yet sinners, He took the guilt of our sins upon Himself. When we are humble we will seek to make reconciliation with those who have wronged us. The proud person wait for those who wronged him to come beg for forgiveness , but the humble person search out the person who wronged him and offered pardon and peace. God did that. God didn't wait for Adam and Eve to come look for Him, but He came searching for them, to make peace with them. God came to seek me and you while we were deep in sin against Him .

Jesus is the perfect example of humility in action. He created us and yet He respect our choices. He is wiser than us and yet He listen to our suggestions. He has our best interests in heart and yet He allow us to choose self destructive paths. He creates our hearts and yet He ask for permission to come in. Humility makes us respectful of others. He makes us put them first. Humility cause us to esteem others more than ourselves. God is humble and it is because God is humble that we are allowed to violate His will, transgress His laws, while He begs us to make peace with Him. Can you imagine how beautiful life is with a humble being like God? Who put your welfare first ?

Friends, let us pursue humility. Let us daily humble ourselves in prayer before the Lord and ask the Lord to give us a humble Spirit. When we have a humble spirit, others will love being around us. We will be pleasant, lovely in their eyes. Others won't fear being vulnerable with us for they will know we have their best interest at heart. They will know we love God and we love Him. A humble person will not make excuses for sin, will not make excuses for doing wrong to others and as a result both God and others will love him. Friends, let us then humble ourselves before God, then resist the Devil and He will flee from us . Humility is the key to a happy relationship.


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We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6