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Noah Preaching



While traveling forward in time, our news team caught up with global fundamentalist Noah. He is preaching an outdated message of doom and gloom, here is excerpt of his interaction with the people.

 Noah: The end is near! repent! for the judgments of God are impending on the nations

Well known Preacher: Noah, why are you scaring the people with these outdated sermons? God is love, the people need to hear of the love of God.

Noah: Worship the true God! Abandon your strange gods and turn toward the truth so that you may have life!

Philosopher: What is truth Noah? You people are so arrogant to think that you know the truth. Such a thing does not truly exist sir. Truth is relative...what is true to you may not be true to others.

Noah: There is only one way to God and that is through the ark! Come in so that you may have life!

New ager: You are a fool to believe that this ark is the only way to God. God is not as narrow-minded as you are trying to make him look like, there are many paths in finding Him

Noah: The creator of the heavens is not willing that any should perish, come in! come in! It is free!

Evolutionist: (laughter) Now we know that you have indeed lost it. Do you really believe that some "god" created all of this? We are the product of billions of years of evolution! The judgement which you speak of is pure fiction!

Noah: Repent from your sins! idolatry...fornication...covetousness...homosexuality! the door of mercy is wide open.

Homosexual activist: Noah, you are a hateful bigot for saying these hurtful things! We will petition the government to create hate speech laws to stop your malevolence. Your views on sexual matters are absolutely archaic and dangerous.

           
As we can see folks Noah is just a delusional fundamentalist preacher that is going against all common sense and knowledge. When it comes to sexual matters, a mega church pastor told our sources that Noah should try to keep up with the times and the culture in order to stay relevant, the world has evolved and so should he. Scientists say Noah is unlearned in science and should not be taken seriously. The Pope also told our sources that Noah is a divisive figure that is not showing the love of Christ to others and the unity of all religions but is instead focusing on an extremist worldview. The radical and divisive preaching of Noah has no place in this day and age. That's all for today folks, be merry, eat and drink for tomorrow will be better.

 Matthew 24:37-39 New International Version (NIV)
37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38 For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39 and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man

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We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6