"For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man b
Jesus said that in the last days, marriage would consume the minds of many. To many, marriage has become a sort of idol. Many believe that marriage will solve all of life's problems, yet as this idolatry has increased, so have divorces. Many are getting married only to end up divorced.
Divorce is on the rise because people do not understand what marriage truly is. In order to understand something, we must understand the mind of its Author. God created marriage, and marriage is about God. Because God is love, marriage is designed for the development of the love of God within our hearts.
True love is other-centered; it is the desire to please someone else. Marriage is about pleasing another as they please you. However, many rush into marriage hoping the other person will make them the center of their universe while they sit back and "enjoy" being loved.
Marriage is a graveyard; it is where selfishness goes to die. Divorces are increasing because many enter a marriage and refuse to allow the "self" to die. They insist on "my way or the highway," and they soon find themselves on the highway of divorce. Selfishness destroys marriage.
What is another cause for divorce? A hardened heart. A hardened heart is a heart without the love or the Spirit of God. Divorce becomes an option only when our hearts are hardened by coldness, selfishness, and an unforgiving spirit.
When the Pharisees asked Jesus if a man could divorce his wife for any reason, Jesus answered, "No." They then asked why Moses commanded a writing of divorcement. Jesus replied in Matthew 19:8: "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." Because Moses knew the capacity for human evil, he permitted divorce so that spouses would not end up destroying one another in the home.
How does God feel about divorce? Malachi 2:16 says: "'For I hate divorce,' says the Lord, the God of Israel. 'He who divorces his wife covers his garment with violence,' says the Lord of hosts. 'So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not break faith.'" In short, God hates divorce. It is viewed as an act of violence. To make a public vow—"until death do us part"—and then break it is a grave matter in the eyes of the Lord.
What about remarriage? In Matthew 19:9, Jesus says: "And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Jesus allows only one exception: sexual immorality. Even then, the Bible requires solid proof—two or three witnesses—not mere assumptions.
Adultery is rampant today, both in the world and in the church. People marry today and divorce tomorrow, blaming each other and justifying their causes. But the Bible shows us that divorce is the result of a hardened heart. The widespread nature of divorce in the church reveals that many hearts have grown cold and are deprived of the Spirit of God. We rush into these unions without understanding, counsel, or the guidance of God.
The Solution to the Divorce Pandemic:
Understand that marriage is about God’s glory, not just our happiness.
Do not make marriage an idol.
Choose a spouse wisely and through much prayer.
Allow the "self" to die daily.
Ask God to transform your hardened heart.
Pray for a heart of love, compassion, and forbearance.
Commit to doing whatever it takes to stay married.
Pray together and seek godly counseling.
Remove the word "divorce" from your vocabulary entirely.
Divorce is violence. Pray that the Lord transforms our hearts, removing the heart of stone and giving us a heart of love. Pray that the character of Christ is revealed in your home. Let the husband crucify his "self" for his wife, and the wife crucify her "self" for her husband. As we see the coming of the Son of Man approaching, let our only "divorce" be a divorce from selfishness.
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