Marriage is the place where selfishness goes die. There are two options in marriage. Either your selfishness will die or your marriage will 🤵🏾💔👰🏽. I read a sad story about Republican House representative Lauren Boebert divorcing from her husband of nearly two decades. "Boebert said there were "irreconcilable differences " in their relationship. That statement right there," irreconcilable differences, " is code word for one of us is selfish or both of us are selfish and we are unable to die to our selfishness, so we will destroy the marriage instead so that the self can continue to live . After 20 years of marriage, a divorce . Can you imagine the pain, the suffering?
Marriage is where selfishness goes to die 💀. Marriage was designed in such a way that selfishness can't survive in there. For marriage is all about two individuals, with different upbringings, different ideas, different way of seeing things coming together to function as ome unit. By definition marriage is hard work. Amos 3:3 says "can two walk together,except they ne agreed ?" Marriage is a walking together in life and it becomes impossible for two people walk together when they don't understand each other. For how can we be agreed if we don't understand each other ? This is the definition of "irreconcilable differences," we just can't agree, so we can no longer walk together .
The failure of marriage doesn't begin during the marriage but way before. The failure of marriage begin with our attitude before we get married. What do you think marriage is 🤔? Do you think marriage is something that is designed to make you happy ? Do you think marriage is about solving your problem of loneliness? Do you think marriage is what will bring meaning to your life ? Do you think marriage is about having someone else whose life solely revolves around you and your wishes ? Do you think marriage is about having someone who when you say jump, "will say how hi ?" If these are your attitude towards marriage then your marriage will sooner or later collapse.
Many of us get our image of marriage from Disney movies 📺. The princess finally find her soul mate who's job is to love her and her job is to look cute. But marriage in the real world is far different. No such thing as a soulmate. Marriage is hard work. It doesn't matter who you marry, it will require hard work and constant communication to maintain your marriage. You can even marry your kindergarten sweetheart, unless you are dedicated to sacrificing self daily and to seek to understand the other person, to seek to seek their perspective and hopefully they are doing the same, your marriage will be miserable in the least and divorce will sooner or later be the result .
This is why we are not supposed to choose just anyone to become our spouse. We want to make sure the Lord is choosing for us. We want to make sure it is someone who fears God, responsible, respectful, someone you can talk to. He may look handsome, she may look good but in marriage, looks soon disappear as you are left dealing with the character of the person and the challenges that come in cleaving two separate people as one. Friends, marriage is hard work and marriage sacrificial. Marriage is about seeking to understand the person and looking for how you can make your spouse's life better and hopefully they are doing the same. Marriage is about supporting each other to become better.
Marriage is about having self control . Treating your spouse nice when you want to get angry. Taking out the trash when you just want to chill, cooking for your husband when you are tired. Listening to one another when you don't want to, letting the other win when you think you were right. Marriage is all about sacrifice. The love you see on TV comes as a result of continous sacrifices. The moment you say in your marriage I am just going to do me, I am just going to focus on me is the moment your marriage start dissolving. If you are looking to be happy, marriage is not for you 😱. But if you are looking to learn to love someone else, to die to selfishness then marriage is for you.
And last of all marriage is about developing the image of Christ in us. What image is that ? Love and sacrifice. If you are looking for someone to marry, stay away from those promoting self love, those saying "my needs come first," those who are looking for someone to love them, you will suffer greatly in marriage with such type. Also make sure you are not one. But if you are looking for marriage, ask the Lord to give you someone you will love, you will sacrifice for, you will die to self for . And most of all if you are already married, ask God daily for the strength to love your spouse no matter what. For wisdom on how to deal with them and to help each other reach heaven 🙏🏾
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