God created us for the purpose of love. He did not do this because He needed love—for He is all-sufficient—but for the purpose of sharing His great love with created beings.
What does it mean to love? To love is to give; it is to seek the highest good of another. Many things masquerade as love, but under close scrutiny, they prove to be nothing more than selfishness.
An example of what love is not is having sex with someone to whom you are not married. A man may tell his girlfriend, "I love you and you know I am going to marry you, so it's okay for us to get intimate now." Is this love? No. It is lust—selfishness masquerading as love. Two essential elements are lacking here, and without them, you cannot have true love: Patience and Self-Control. To love someone requires being patient with them and exercising great restraint over oneself.
A lack of love is demonstrated when a couple cannot wait until their wedding night. In this state, they act more like robbers than people who love. If a man truly loves his girlfriend and desires what is best for her, he will wait until she officially becomes his through marriage before God and man.
By being patient, he demonstrates that her long-term well-being is his highest goal. He learns to love her for who she is as a person rather than what she can provide for his urges. Patience shows that you are not looking to accomplish a selfish aim, but that you want to walk with someone step-by-step. A selfish person is always in a rush for the next goal; they have no time to "waste" on the long-term investment required for a soul.
Having self-control means you have power over yourself. You are not controlled by your impulses; rather, you rule over your nature. A man who loves God and others will restrain himself from doing wrong, even if his nature cries out for it. He protects the dignity of the person he loves.
Often, we rush into physical intimacy because we fear the other person might not stay. In our insecurity, we "rob" them, failing to consider that they may belong to someone else later on. True love trusts and waits.
God is love, and God is patient with us. He takes His time. He does not rush us into decisions but walks with us step-by-step, ensuring we understand our choices. God also possesses absolute self-control. While His holiness and purity could demand the immediate destruction of the sinner, He restrains His wrath. He shows mercy, giving us time to repent and flee from the "wrath to come."
Even the final destruction of the wicked is an act of love. God does everything to make a soul happy, but the sinner often wants nothing to do with the Source of life. God will not allow the unrepentant to live in eternal misery and rebellion, so He allows them to sleep in death. God always looks at the long-term good.
Are you looking to love like Jesus, or are you selfishly trying to get something out of others? Let us learn to be patient with the faults, mistakes, and growth of those around us. Let us exercise self-control over our words and actions, always asking: "How will what I am doing today affect this person tomorrow? Does my behavior benefit them or harm them?"
God looks out for our best. Let us learn to be like Him.
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