Love is a beautiful thing. It makes life worth living. Love is the greatest force in the universe because God is love. We all want to be loved, and most of us long for someone to love in return. We sing about it, write about it, and watch movies about it; yet, genuine love is perhaps the most difficult thing to find on this earth. It is often easier to find diamonds and gold, or even the lost city of Atlantis, than to find true, selfless love. Because of this, many have simply given up, viewing love as a fable for the unwise.
Why is Love So Hard to Find? The simplest answer is that we are imperfect. To be imperfect means we are "broken," unable to fully perform the function for which we were created.
Imagine you meet the "love of your life." She is beautiful to behold, and you think, "I have finally found her." You scoff at friends who speak negatively about marriage, convinced they just haven't found "the right one." You and your lover build a relationship; you are inseparable, constantly talking on the phone, and life feels incomplete without her. You marry quickly, convinced your feelings will last forever.
Then, six months into the marriage, things change. You ask, "Babe, can you put some food on the table?" and she snaps back, "You have hands; get it yourself." The man who used to open every door now tells you to get it yourself. The man who once gave constant compliments now asks why you’ve gained weight.
The things you once adored now irritate you. You wonder, "Why did I get married?" But you haven't made a mistake. What is actually happening is that true love is beginning to approach your heart. How you respond to this friction will determine if you ever experience genuine love.
It is easy to love people from afar, but difficult to love them when they are near. It is easy to love a woman when her makeup is on, but what about when it comes off? It is easy to love the "sweet" sister at church or the passionate preacher until you get close enough to see their arrogance, their stubbornness, or their lack of time for you. As we draw near to others, our "masks" are removed, and the ugliness of our souls is revealed.
Love is Not for the Weak True love is an action, not just an emotion. It requires divine strength. When someone lies to you, betrays you, or acts with entitlement, it slowly destroys the natural affection in your heart. A rebellious, unsubmissive wife can make a husband bitter; a reckless, unloving husband can destroy his wife’s spirit.
At this moment of realization—when you see the ugliness in your spouse and the coldness in your own heart—you are finally ready to learn how to love. Love requires saying: "Today, I choose to love my spouse despite her flaws. Today, I choose to love my child despite their rebellion."
To love is to forgive the unforgivable, to be patient with the ridiculous, and to reach out to the unreachable. It requires being wounded and yet remaining a healer. We must constantly rely on God for a tender heart so that we do not become cold-hearted after being disrespected or disappointed.
We find it hard to love a perfect God; how much harder is it to love sinful human beings? The path is difficult, but it is the greatest joy in life. To reach it, you must cross:
The River of Patience
The Mountain of Forgiveness
The Dense Forest of Past Wrongs
The Avenue of Kind Responses to Harsh Words
Only those who abide in Christ will experience the joy of watching an imperfect person grow because you poured disinterested love into them. Love awakens the soul. You can love your spouse despite the "ugliness" and cherish others despite their unreliability, for you can "do all things through Christ who strengthens you" (Philippians 4:13).
Believe in God, and He will soften your heart. Love is possible because God is love.
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