Love.
Love is something we all desire. The airwaves are filled with love songs; we find love in movies and literature, and these stories appear so beautiful to us. The idea of love makes us feel good; just thinking about it awakens beautiful emotions in our hearts, leading us to wonder, "Why isn’t this my reality?" or "Why can't I find that kind of love?"
Love begins to feel difficult to find the moment we start believing, "I deserve love."
Do I deserve love? It sounds crazy for me to ask that, right? You might ask, "What do you mean?" or "Of course you deserve love." But let me ask you: Why do you believe you deserve it? What is it about you that makes you worthy of being loved? You see, many times we say things without fully understanding their meaning—and as a result, we end up suffering.
According to the dictionary, the word deserve means:
To do something, or have or show qualities, worthy of a reward or punishment.
In other words, to "deserve" something means you have performed actions that result in a specific outcome as a consequence. So, let me ask you again: Do you still believe you "deserve" love? Have you done things that make you worthy of being loved?
Before you answer, let’s define love. Modern dictionaries often define love as "an intense feeling of deep affection." Affection, in turn, is described as "a gentle feeling of fondness."
Here lies the root of our struggle: Most of us view love as a feeling. Because of this, love becomes as unstable as our emotions. We fall in and out of love the way Florida weather changes—suddenly and unpredictably. This kind of love is mere emotionalism; it is the love of children. It is the love portrayed in pop songs and movies. It is the love most people seek, yet it is unsustainable because it isn't real.
A Better Source Let’s ask a better source. "Bible, what is love?" The Bible answers, "I am glad you asked."
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." — 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
Thank you, Bible. This is a much better definition. Now, back to the question: Do you think you deserve this kind of love? Why do you believe you are worth it?
The Concept of Pursuit Does God "deserve" love? You might say, "Yes, Ric, 1 John 4:19 says we love Him because He first loved us." What an amazing truth! God "deserves" our love because He first pursued us. He worked for it; He demonstrated it.
While a child deserves the love of their parents because they did not ask to be born, love in adult relationships is trickier. It is hard to claim we deserve something we haven't worked for. You may say, "I deserve God’s love," and I would agree. But do you deserve Heaven? Heaven is reserved for those who pursue it.
Likewise, in human relationships, love is truly enjoyed only by those who pursue it, not those who wait for it to come to them. Whoever wants to be loved must be active in loving others. If I want to be loved, I must pursue love.
How do I pursue love?
Go to the Source: Connect with God.
Pursue the Attributes: * If I want patience, I must practice patience.
If I want kindness, I must be kind.
If I want others to keep no record of my wrongs, I must stop keeping a record of theirs.
If I want trust, I must build trust.
Our society is full of "lazy lovers"—dreamers who want to be swept off their feet without doing anything to "deserve" that love. But love is an action verb. It requires persevering effort.
A husband shouldn't wait for his wife to love him first; he should actively pursue her. A wife shouldn't wait for her husband to cherish her first; she should actively pursue him. As both parties actively pursue the other, love blossoms. Pursue love from God, shower those around you with it, and you will eventually receive a harvest of love.
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